Have Something Good to Say

Do You Waste Your Greetings and Departures?

Is There a Second Chance to Make a First Impression?

It is said that you never have a second chance to make a first impression.  But it is also said you never should say never.  That is especially true in this case, because every time you leave the company of a person and return, you must reestablish or reinforce you initial impression - and hopefully improve upon it.  And, if it is the first time you are meeting the person - or group - you have a chance to make a positive impact - or the aptly named - first impression.

Last Impressions First

Correspondingly, it should also be said that you never have a second chance to make a last impression.  What does the person you were just with, walked by (i.e., receptionist), or left the company of in some other fashion, remember?  Do they even remember you?  More importantly - how did you make them feel?  Anything at all?

Always Have Something Good to Say - At the Beginning and at the End

Deflating the Greeting: So many people waste their greeting with some vacuous statement like: “Hi.” How are you?”  “What’s up?”

Omitting the Exodus: Similarly, many people also make an even bigger mistake by wasting their departure statement with an emotionless exodus like: “Have a good one.”  “Take it easy.”  “Bye.”  “Seeya.”            

These are the types of moments where you have the opportunity to alter your perception in the eyes of others by having something good to say.  Leave a positively charged emotional trail wherever you go, that has your name on it.    

That's All Good But Say What?

People will not always remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.  Therefore, the next time you greet someone say something good like: “It’s great to see you again.”  “I was hoping to see you today.”  “I’ve missed seeing you.”  And, of course, beginning with a genuine compliment is a great idea.  A generic one that works well is: “You’re looking healthy.”  Plus, you can always say: “You’re looking amazing.”  “This place is really looking great.”  “I understand you daughter is making a big impact in her new job.”

You will clearly have a better understanding of the circumstances, situation, and the framing of the interaction and will come up with the some far more creative and relevant statements than my examples.   

Summary

It takes no more time than you spend now, just a little more thought up front, and costs nothing, but it will have a huge interpersonal impact.  You will be better liked, make more friends, and develop more influence.  Why would you not always have something good to say?

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Can You Persuade Me?

Influence Via Animation.  Will You Commit to Just Watching the First 30 Second With Me?

The following is a video explanation of the prior post's un-extraordinary briefing.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Do You Want to be More Influential? Most People Do.

Influence......One Thing We All Would

Love to Have More Of

Jason Riemens recommended!

Credibility
Thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior  resulted in the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini.

Via this book - which I personally put in my top two most practically useful self-development books - Cialdini determined six universal principles (often referred to as "weapons of influence") on how to become a skilled persuader and how to defend yourself against them.

PRINCIPLES OF PERSUASION

• Reciprocity
• Scarcity
• Authority
• Consistency
• Social Proof
• Liking

Yes, I Use Them....and Wish Dearly That I Used Them Better
I make my best effort to utilize these principles as often as possible and observe whether others also use them.  Anecdotally, I will note that I often see local businesses advertise or offer a service (usually of great value per my account) that virtually becomes useless due to - the promotion thereof - not utilizing these principles. 

Quite often it is perceived that no one values the service.  If these business just added a statement similar to "Did you know that 75% of our customers use ......?" then according to the principal of social proof, sales would skyrocket.  And I for one believe them (but ironically believing is not necessary, as the studies show that most people were influenced by these tactics while vehemently denying they would be).  

For more detail, go read the book, but below is a cheat sheet.

This is certainly a topic I will return to and revisit due to what I consider its importance and the value it adds to us as both people and professionals.


Enthusiastically scribbled by, 
Jason Riemens

Is it What You Know or Who you Know?

Who Knows What About Whom?

Resolution

So...let’s determine this once and for all.  Is it what you know or who you know that matters?  I think there can be a valid case for both. 

• First, if you don’t know anything about the task, project, or job you’re doing - you’ll not last long - no matter who you have backing you.
• Second, if you don’t make the effort to get to know anybody, you’ll never have a support system.

Reality

But, neither answer is actually correct, because what really matters is who knows you.  The more people that know you, knows of you, knows someone that knows you, hopes to know you, or just knows you by lore - the less effort you will have to make, the less time you will have to spend, and the more you will be sought after.

Two Scenarios

Imagine walking onto a room and knowing every person, but not a single person knows you (e.g. they are all celebrities).  Now, imagine that you’re Brad Pitt and walk into just about any room in the world.  You might not know a single person, but chances are everybody will know you and with no effort whatsoever, people fall over themselves to talk to you.  I think I like the second scenario much better.

How to Get There

So, in the world of non-superstar celebrity status, of which I am quite familiar, how do you get people to know you?  The first step to take is to not just be a member, but instead be a participant.  Instead of being the one listening to the speech, seminar, or lecture - be the one giving it. 

Illustration: The first thing that just came to my mind is that I had the great fortune of being a best man at two amazing weddings and was humbly allowed to give best man speeches at both.  Many people did not know me when I walked in - everybody knew me before dinner.  I wasn't selling anything, but people were buying.

For this reason, if you are in the PTO, the local Chamber of Commerce, Rotary, in a class, or are attending any organized event - get in front of the people and talk.

The caveat - as always - is you better prepare and be prepared! 

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

   

How to Win Friends and Influence People

The book that has had the most influence on my life and that has had the greatest practical impact - meaning that I use what I read the most - is Dale Carnegie’s, How to Win Friends and Influence People.  It discusses the fundamental techniques in handing people, how to win people to your way of thinking, ways to make people like you, and how to be a leader.

It is all common sense, but as we all know, common sense is not always common practice.  It is not a business book, a relationship book, or a self-help book.  It is a life book - my life has been changed forever by it - and hopefully I have helped others improve their lives because of it as well.

Below I list out the principles of the book in anticipation that they that will inspire you to action.  What action?  Any positive action...but reading the book would be a great start.

FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

PRINCIPLE 1
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

PRINCIPLE 2

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

PRINCIPLE 3
Arouse in the other person an eager want.

HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

PRINCIPLE 1
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

PRINCIPLE 2

Show respect for the other person’s opinions.  Never say, “You’re wrong.”

PRINCIPLE 3

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

PRINCIPLE 4

Begin in a friendly way.

PRINCIPLE 5

Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

PRINCIPLE 6

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

PRINCIPLE 7

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

PRINCIPLE 8

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.


PRINCIPLE 9

Be sympathetic to the other person’s ideas and desires.

PRINCIPLE 10

Appeal to the nobler motives.

PRINCIPLE 11

Dramatize your ideas.

PRINCIPLE 12

Throw down a challenge.

SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

PRINCIPLE 1

Become genuinely interested in other people.

PRINCIPLE 2

Smile.

PRINCIPLE 3

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

PRINCIPLE 4

Be a good listener.  Encourage others to talk about themselves.

PRINCIPLE 5

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

PRINCIPLE 6

Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

BE A LEADER

PRINCIPLE 1

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

PRINCIPLE 2

Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

PRINCIPLE 3

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

PRINCIPLE 4

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

PRINCIPLE 5

Let the other person save face.

PRINCIPLE 6

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. 
Be “hearty in you approbation and lavish in your praise.”

PRINCIPLE 7

Give the other person a reputation to live up to.

PRINCIPLE 8

Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to correct.

PRINCIPLE 9

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.



Make everybody you talk to feel important and appreciated!

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 
Jason Riemens