2013 Is Going to be FANTASTIC ... Why?

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Have Something Good to Say

Do You Waste Your Greetings and Departures?

Is There a Second Chance to Make a First Impression?

It is said that you never have a second chance to make a first impression.  But it is also said you never should say never.  That is especially true in this case, because every time you leave the company of a person and return, you must reestablish or reinforce you initial impression - and hopefully improve upon it.  And, if it is the first time you are meeting the person - or group - you have a chance to make a positive impact - or the aptly named - first impression.

Last Impressions First

Correspondingly, it should also be said that you never have a second chance to make a last impression.  What does the person you were just with, walked by (i.e., receptionist), or left the company of in some other fashion, remember?  Do they even remember you?  More importantly - how did you make them feel?  Anything at all?

Always Have Something Good to Say - At the Beginning and at the End

Deflating the Greeting: So many people waste their greeting with some vacuous statement like: “Hi.” How are you?”  “What’s up?”

Omitting the Exodus: Similarly, many people also make an even bigger mistake by wasting their departure statement with an emotionless exodus like: “Have a good one.”  “Take it easy.”  “Bye.”  “Seeya.”            

These are the types of moments where you have the opportunity to alter your perception in the eyes of others by having something good to say.  Leave a positively charged emotional trail wherever you go, that has your name on it.    

That's All Good But Say What?

People will not always remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.  Therefore, the next time you greet someone say something good like: “It’s great to see you again.”  “I was hoping to see you today.”  “I’ve missed seeing you.”  And, of course, beginning with a genuine compliment is a great idea.  A generic one that works well is: “You’re looking healthy.”  Plus, you can always say: “You’re looking amazing.”  “This place is really looking great.”  “I understand you daughter is making a big impact in her new job.”

You will clearly have a better understanding of the circumstances, situation, and the framing of the interaction and will come up with the some far more creative and relevant statements than my examples.   

Summary

It takes no more time than you spend now, just a little more thought up front, and costs nothing, but it will have a huge interpersonal impact.  You will be better liked, make more friends, and develop more influence.  Why would you not always have something good to say?

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Are You Likeable? There is a One in Four Chance You're Not

The Likeability Factor

A while back, I read a book called The Likeability Factor, by Tim Sanders.  I had never heard of the author and have not researched him since - so I am not just a fan pushing the ideals of a favorite writer - but the summary of the book really peaked my interest.  The author shows his readers how to build their likeability factor by teaching them how to enhance four critical elements of their personality: (1) Friendliness, (2) Relevance, (3) Empathy, and (4) Realness. 

• Friendliness: your ability to communicate liking and openness to others
• Relevance: your capacity to connect with others’ interests, wants, and needs
• Empathy: your ability to recognize, acknowledge, and experience other people’s feelings
• Realness: the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity

Evaluation: I often now use these four criteria as an evaluative tool, after I have determined if I like someone or if I have determined that I don’t.  It is amazing on how well they apply and the subsequent evaluation aids in building future relationships.  I do this because I often end up liking people that I didn't' think I would (like when their friendliness is low) and sometimes it’s the reverse, which causes me some serious consternation. 

Example: As a perfect recent example, I grew to really dislike the former manager of a local establishment I frequent.  This individual seemed the nicest person and always greeted me with a smile.  Since this person was the manger of a place I went to nearly every day, this made the person relevant.  The person however failed miserably on empathy - and especially realness.  Most notably, I - at first unconsciously - found this person to be disingenuous in in all of our interactions.  And I avoided ever being around this person without really knowing why - as I don’t like disliking people.  There is no upside to seeing somebody and feeling uncomfortable, so I try to always find some aspect of their character that I admire (which will be another post topic).         

Also, I find quite often, that if the person has no relevance to me, I don’t dislike them, but am indifferent.  It usually is their lack of willingness to try to connect with me or show interest.  I don't want a feeling of indifference to people that I see regularly.   

From observation, it seems most people think they just have to be friendly to be liked.  That is clearly not enough.  I can actually think of a person - right now - that does not seem to like me, even though I am quite nice to them, and it really bothers me.  I realize - against my own principles - that I have not tried to make a connection to this person - and it is because the person does not seem to like me.  So, I reversed the cause and effect and will fix it.

Thereby, it seems apparent that - if you want to be liked by more people - evaluate yourself on how well you utilize these elements of your personality when interacting with others.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens