Why is Doubt a Remarkable Indicator You Have a Great Idea?

TURN THAT AGREEMENT INTO DOUBT
***The Never Give Up Series***

The Unknown May be Your Key
I used to love it when somebody thought my ideas were great or that my plan of action had all the right steps.  But then after many bland projects and ideas that never took flight, I realized that - in general - people don't readily accept the new or unknown.

Resemblance is Not the Key
The idea that resembled something that was already successful got the praise.  When something that is not understood because it is includes the unknown and high uncertainty - the first reaction by many is doubt.  Doubt that it will not succeed - not because it is not a brilliant idea - but because there is no comparison.

Listen to Your Inner Monolgue
You are the only one that has thought through your vision for days, months, or years and have had an inner monologue about the greatness of your idea far longer than you could ever have an external dialogue about.  Embrace the doubt.  Don't let fear stop you.  And, in fact, tell yourself that "if not enough people doubt you then you're not making a difference." 

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 
Jason Riemens

The Truth About Anxiety

ANXIETY IS ACCEPTING FAILURE BEFORE TRYING

Accepting Failure is the Problem
Is there a reasonable reason to worry?  Worry causes anxiety and may even be the best synonym for such a useless mental activity. Among the many negative aspects of worrying - having anxiety - is that at the root of the issue, anxiety is really accepting failure before ever trying.

Is failure bad or is failing the end of the world? It is neither and is in fact the stepping stone to success.  But, the problem with anxiety is that you have accepted failure without determining if you could succeed.  Additionally, you have mentally welcomed defeat prior to obtaining the greatest amount of learning from the failure.

Success With an Asterisk
You may still succeed under the weight of an anxiety burdened mind- but with an asterisk - because of the negative emotions and reduced performance that accompanies anxiety.

So........the moral of this story is that worrying accomplishes nothing positive and in reality it has far reaching negative consequences.   Don't accept failure until you have made an effort and if you then fail, welcome it and learn from it.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Last Impressions are Lasting Impressions

You Never Have a Second Chance...Not to Have Fallen Down Those Stairs

Is There a Last Impression?
In a previous post I posed the ubiquitous, if not paradoxical, question of whether there is indeed a second chance to make a first impression.  The post was about ensuring that when you are leaving a room, a conversation, your workplace, or some other interaction - as well as at the end of the email - you have something good to say.  In fact, I went so far as to assert that you never have a second chance to make a last impression. 

Make it Last
This post takes it a step further to state that - last impressions are lasting impressions - meaning be weary of not only what you say, but also how you perform your exit.  Is it covered in ketchup?  Dragging toilet paper behind you? Stumbling down stairs? Pouting like a small child that did not get a new flat screen TV?  Red faced and irritable?  Or did you just sneak out like a ninja after a successful assassination?

And to continue a major the me of this BLOG.  It's your choice how you are remembered.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Is It a Crazy Idea or a Breakthrough?

The Difference Between a Breakthrough

and a Crazy Idea is Timing

***The Never Give Up Series***

And in This Corner: The Never Give Up Series
Today I introduce the "Never Give Up Series" of motivation quotations, idioms, analogies, metaphors, and stories.  The series is specifically dedicated towards positivity, drive, and motivation where the difference between hopelessness and grand success is one day, one act of bravery, or one encouraging word. 

______________________________________________

Yesterday You Were Crazy
When I read a review of a book or an article and the person is raving about it....especially when the words are generic or vacuous, like great or interesting, without an insightful explanation - I put it in my outbox (aka trash can). 

This is because what is understood or accepted is rarely innovative, new, exiting, or world changing.  It's the crazy - or to be more politically correct - unknown idea, that makes a difference.  Everything else - to borrow the phrasing - is an incremental improvement.

Today It's a Breakthrough
So...when I have an idea and somebody looks at me like they just hand signaled the closest person to get the straight jacket, then I know I may be on to something.  If I am told "that is a great idea" or "I have heard someone suggest that before," then it goes on top of the pile of the ubiquitous raving reviews (unless of course they are raving lunatic reviews).



Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Have You Found The Holy Grail?

What One Person Can Do, Another Person Can Do

Is the Easy Road For You?
Do you take the easy road or the most difficult path you can find?  I am sure you know which leads to greater rewards, but - more importantly - new research has revealed that myelin, once considered an inert form of insulation for brain cells, may be the holy grail of acquiring skill.  And this is obtained by pushing yourself every time you get the chance, but in specific ways.

If you want to learn more about the most efficient method of breaking skill barriers and taking your talent to new heights, read the book The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

What if You Are Afraid to Speak?

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 
Jason Riemens

What Problem Does That Solve?

The Second Step is Admitting You Have a Problem

In an earlier post  from this BLOG I wrote that I ask myself three questions when faced with an decision having alternative choices.  In that post, I zealously detailed the first question, which was “What would I do if I was not afraid?”  And in this post I will make a grand attempt to explain the second question.

The Second Question…

The second question is one that I regrettably failed to ask myself for much of my life.  I would make a choice based on notions such as, what seemed to be the most fun, what seemed the coolest thing to do, what was trendy, what others were doing, or what was the easiest.

Paradoxically, the result was often a spectacular success…by somebody else’s standards.  As can be seen in the right column of this BLOG under My Life Philosophy, I state that success is “accomplishing your goals.”  The “your” in that statement is the key, the secret, the epiphany.  Your goals.  Your needs.  Your problem.  

Thereby, the second question I ask myself when making a decision is “What problem does that solve?”    

Why Ask What?

As difficult as it is to concede, there is a major error in many of our decision making processes.  We rarely - on a conscious level - ask if the chosen solution solves our problem. Or to put it differently, will the outcome actually be meaningful or benefit us in any way.  And for those getting your unmentionables all twisted right now, I am not advocating anyone to think egocentrically here.   The problem this solves could very well be for a friend, for your employer, or for your customer.  After all, solving someone else’s problem is solving yours in much the same way as us doing altruistic actions for others brings us more pleasure than the recipient.

Consequently, if no goal is accomplished, no need satisfied, no problem solved, and accordingly there is no meaningful outcome - then your action was in futility and should not have been taken.

Example: I am a fitness fanatic, which really means I love the exercising, but really have no convictions as to precisely what I do.  I just love the feeling, the atmosphere, and the camaraderie that goes along with being a fitness enthusiast.

Thusly, I will be doing my normal routine and see someone doing an unconventional exercise or new machine and think to myself that I should do that.  Most recently, there was a trainer at my gym doing some cross fit type routine (a comprehensive overall cardio, agility, and weight lifting routine) and I was quite intrigued.  I thought that what he was doing was really neat and looked both fun and difficult.  It seemed to be a workout with “real world” applications.  

I wanted to try it, so I talked to him, and he said I could train with him the following Monday.   I was super excited, but was immediately figuring out in my head when I was going to fit in my normal training regimen for that day. 

It was then that I had the epiphany that the cross fit workout seemed cool and exciting but, unless I was on the savannah running from lions, or if I was getting ready for an MMA fight, or if I was training for an event that combined cardio fitness with strength and agility, it really served no purpose for me.  In other words, it did not solve my problem of maximizing my strength and muscle, minimizing my body fat, and being in running shape.  Hard weight training solved my size and strength problem and running on the treadmill solved my body fat and running problems.  The cross fit training would get me in great overall shape, but would not have solved my specific problems or addressed my self-imposed goals.  It was the metaphoric shiny new toy for me to play with. 

Assessment

If your action does not solve a problem or help you attain a goal you have set, then it was likely not the right action to take and you should have chosen a different action among your choices or you should have given yourself a different set of actions to choose from for a different goal.  You don't have a set of goals?  Well then, that is for another post.   

So, when facing a situation, opportunity, dilemma, problem, or realistically any choice I ask:

1) What would I do if I was not afraid?

2) What problem does that solve?

3) …..for a later post.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 
Jason Riemens

Do All That You Can, The Best That You Can

Can You Give a 110%?

If 110% Then Why Not 1100%?
When is comes to effort, there is only 100% of what you are capable of at that moment - or less.  If you do all that you can, the best that you can - you will be far ahead of the majority of people out there. 

You will have success and the incredible satisfaction that is brought about by knowing you - left it all on the field, the mat, the court, the shop floor, the boardroom, or wherever you have decided to make a difference.

Inference:
Do all that you can, the best that you can.  That is all you can ask of a person.


So.....go out there and do your best.  You have nothing to lose but the world to gain.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 
Jason Riemens

Input or Outcome? What Matters to You?

Everything Is Easy With a Little Hard Work

I Must be Kidding Right?

Is this a play on an oxymoron or possibly a playful idiom?  Maybe it’s an attempt at starting a new colloquialism.

Well, maybe, but what I am attempting to say - is that if you want something to be easy, then work hard.  We want things to be as easy as possible - right?  Then why I am saying we must work hard for things to be easy?  Maybe I should elucidate with some examples.

• If you want a test to be easy, then study hard.
• If you want to win your athletic event, then train hard.
• If you want to speak easily in front of people and with enthusiasm, then practice hard. 

So...What Do I Mean?
Therefore, what this all means is: If you want your desired outcome to come easily then the input must be done with a concerted effort.  

Making Sense of This

Why does this make sense?  Why put in the effort at the beginning, or during the contribution phase?  Because this is where you have significantly more control.  You often can plan the means to a desired outcome the way you want, around your schedule, and in a timeframe you desire. 

Why Does This Matter?
Too often people wait until the event, the test, or the actual end of the planning period to start making an effort.  Then these same people complain that something is hard, resulting in them giving up, an inferior outcome, or even possibly preventing others from even attempting to do well. 

Even for the brightest and most talented, failure will be the outcome without the initial effort.  And, the phrase so often heard, "I'll do whatever it takes," when referring to achieving the desired goal is empirical evidence that the outcome is what really matters.

Example: Let’s say you want to get into medical school and need to take the MCAT.  You can likely designate the number of weeks you will study, the number of hours per day to study, and even pick the study tool. 

However, the exam is standardized, the amount of time you are allotted to take the test is fixed, and the testing location has limited options and availability.  Thusly, if you work hard the weeks before, then you can make the test easy - or at least easier.  You will not have any method to make the test easier without the initial hard work (i.e., longer testing time, simpler questions, more comfortable testing surroundings).  

Conclusion

Thereby, the conclusion is that every desired outcome can be attained with far more ease if you put in the initial hard work beforehand.

    

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Do You Fight Fire With Fire?

How Do You Fight an Evil?

 

Choose Your Evil

Well, that depends on the evil!  All that can be stated with certainty, is that you if fight the evil by adopting it an practicing it, you just doubled the evil you were trying to get rid of.  Or, you may have more than doubled it if you also eliminated the goodness from your heart that was overcome by the evil. 

Better Than What?

Be the better person.  Find a better solution.  Live the better life.  Better than what?  Better than the evil?  No….better than before the evil…..because you learned from the situation.   

     

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Vampire Bites Last a Lifetime

Have Something Good to … Write

Vampire Bites Last a Lifetime

In a previous post, I discussed Have Something to Good to Say. But, as I also alluded to, words disappear from memory quite expediently, while emotions stay.  However, this is not the case when you write a letter (yes…with ink), type an email, send a text, or post on a social networking site.  The words are immortalized like they were bitten in a dark alley by a nefarious vampire intent on dooming the words an eternal life.  And so they are…..but maybe dooming you instead.

But, in a sense, I digress.  I am not scribing this post trying to make you an Internet goody goody.

What I am offering is this - whatever your message, you can evoke a positive sentiment by first starting with a brief nicety and finishing with an appreciative salutation.

My Personal Practice

In most of my emails, I start off with a one sentence paragraph that includes a statement that expectantly allows the reader to have a positive attitude toward me.  As one who truly believes that what we tell ourselves - or is told to us - guides us to that belief, I  basically tell the reader to feel good (without saying those words).  I don’t ask a question that could have a negative response or lead to a potentially undesirable thought process.

Opening Example: Often I write something like: “I trust that you had an amazing weekend.”  “Happy Wednesday!” Or, if I know something good has happened to them or they did anything for me I might write: “I understand you really made an impact this week!” “Your presentation was insightful.  I know you are busy and I appreciate your time.”  But, most often there will not be a specific reason for gratitude, so just begin in a friendly way and then start your message.

Closing Example: And then I finish with something small like: “Much appreciation.”  “Much gratitude.” "Thank you for your time and effort.”

Universal-ish Law

Everybody likes to be appreciated and to be made to feel important.  A few of the right words go a long way - especially if you’re the person who is known to frequently show gratitude and be encouraging - whilst others are not.

Alternative Message: Give me toys now Santa!  I am a kid and you owe me for being semi-good.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

New Year Resolution

I can honestly tell the person in the mirror that I believe in him 100%. 
And that makes all of the difference between success and failure.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 
Jason Riemens

2013 Is Going to be FANTASTIC ... Why?

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Have Something Good to Say

Do You Waste Your Greetings and Departures?

Is There a Second Chance to Make a First Impression?

It is said that you never have a second chance to make a first impression.  But it is also said you never should say never.  That is especially true in this case, because every time you leave the company of a person and return, you must reestablish or reinforce you initial impression - and hopefully improve upon it.  And, if it is the first time you are meeting the person - or group - you have a chance to make a positive impact - or the aptly named - first impression.

Last Impressions First

Correspondingly, it should also be said that you never have a second chance to make a last impression.  What does the person you were just with, walked by (i.e., receptionist), or left the company of in some other fashion, remember?  Do they even remember you?  More importantly - how did you make them feel?  Anything at all?

Always Have Something Good to Say - At the Beginning and at the End

Deflating the Greeting: So many people waste their greeting with some vacuous statement like: “Hi.” How are you?”  “What’s up?”

Omitting the Exodus: Similarly, many people also make an even bigger mistake by wasting their departure statement with an emotionless exodus like: “Have a good one.”  “Take it easy.”  “Bye.”  “Seeya.”            

These are the types of moments where you have the opportunity to alter your perception in the eyes of others by having something good to say.  Leave a positively charged emotional trail wherever you go, that has your name on it.    

That's All Good But Say What?

People will not always remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel.  Therefore, the next time you greet someone say something good like: “It’s great to see you again.”  “I was hoping to see you today.”  “I’ve missed seeing you.”  And, of course, beginning with a genuine compliment is a great idea.  A generic one that works well is: “You’re looking healthy.”  Plus, you can always say: “You’re looking amazing.”  “This place is really looking great.”  “I understand you daughter is making a big impact in her new job.”

You will clearly have a better understanding of the circumstances, situation, and the framing of the interaction and will come up with the some far more creative and relevant statements than my examples.   

Summary

It takes no more time than you spend now, just a little more thought up front, and costs nothing, but it will have a huge interpersonal impact.  You will be better liked, make more friends, and develop more influence.  Why would you not always have something good to say?

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

The First Step is Admitting You're Afraid

From my rough life in the hard streets - OK...just from living my life, my professional career, my formal schooling, and my reading - as well as from my majestic successes and mammoth failures, I have developed three main questions I ask when facing a situation, opportunity, dilemma, problem, or pragmatically any choice.  This post details the first.

The First Question...

The first question and the one that I think precludes the most people from action - while ironically the least admitted during an external dialogue (while quite prevalent in one’s internal monologue) is, “What would I do if I was not afraid?”

Come On....Admit it Already!

Admitting the feeling of fear or of being afraid - especially when not arising from a large group of voracious beasts or an ill-intended biker gang - seems to be something people are - afraid - to do.

So, when an opportunity arises - which to those with a positive attitude and optimism is with every decision - I recommend that you ask yourself what you would do if you were not afraid. 

Afraid-of-What-a-Phobia

Afraid of what?  Rejection.  Failure. Judgment.  Shame. Loss.  Misunderstanding.  Criticism.  (...insert yours here...)  These are the first that come to my mind, as well as just plain old uncertainty - by which I mean, knowing more outcomes could happen than will.

Example: I started this BLOG by asking myself this question and actually ask it for every post.  I admit that there is a certain level of fear that: First - no one will ever read what I am writing, and Second - that what I write may be judged, not appreciated, or misunderstood. 

But then I tell myself that I have been extremely successful at everything I put all of my effort in to, but will still let my unconscious fears rule the day.  Hence, I must make them part of my conscious thinking and ask this magical question. 

I then am often surprised at what I would do......if I wasn't afraid.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

I Already Know That!

Knowing is Not Enough.  It’s the Doing That Matters.

How many times have you been in a class, a seminar, or a training session and heard someone scornfully say, “I already know that!”  Or, even worse, how many times have you read, listened to an audiobook, or been told something by a mentor and internally said the same thing?

Unfortunately, if you are like most people, you were responding to the wrong internal question: “Did I know this already?”  When you should have been asking yourself, “How well or often do I do that?”  You may know something very well - and know you would be better off if you did it - and then never do it. 

So, when I post something in this BLOG - and many times it will be something simple and well known - don’t ask yourself if you already knew it, but instead, ask if when the opportunity arises - “Do I actually do it?”

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Are You Likeable? There is a One in Four Chance You're Not

The Likeability Factor

A while back, I read a book called The Likeability Factor, by Tim Sanders.  I had never heard of the author and have not researched him since - so I am not just a fan pushing the ideals of a favorite writer - but the summary of the book really peaked my interest.  The author shows his readers how to build their likeability factor by teaching them how to enhance four critical elements of their personality: (1) Friendliness, (2) Relevance, (3) Empathy, and (4) Realness. 

• Friendliness: your ability to communicate liking and openness to others
• Relevance: your capacity to connect with others’ interests, wants, and needs
• Empathy: your ability to recognize, acknowledge, and experience other people’s feelings
• Realness: the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity

Evaluation: I often now use these four criteria as an evaluative tool, after I have determined if I like someone or if I have determined that I don’t.  It is amazing on how well they apply and the subsequent evaluation aids in building future relationships.  I do this because I often end up liking people that I didn't' think I would (like when their friendliness is low) and sometimes it’s the reverse, which causes me some serious consternation. 

Example: As a perfect recent example, I grew to really dislike the former manager of a local establishment I frequent.  This individual seemed the nicest person and always greeted me with a smile.  Since this person was the manger of a place I went to nearly every day, this made the person relevant.  The person however failed miserably on empathy - and especially realness.  Most notably, I - at first unconsciously - found this person to be disingenuous in in all of our interactions.  And I avoided ever being around this person without really knowing why - as I don’t like disliking people.  There is no upside to seeing somebody and feeling uncomfortable, so I try to always find some aspect of their character that I admire (which will be another post topic).         

Also, I find quite often, that if the person has no relevance to me, I don’t dislike them, but am indifferent.  It usually is their lack of willingness to try to connect with me or show interest.  I don't want a feeling of indifference to people that I see regularly.   

From observation, it seems most people think they just have to be friendly to be liked.  That is clearly not enough.  I can actually think of a person - right now - that does not seem to like me, even though I am quite nice to them, and it really bothers me.  I realize - against my own principles - that I have not tried to make a connection to this person - and it is because the person does not seem to like me.  So, I reversed the cause and effect and will fix it.

Thereby, it seems apparent that - if you want to be liked by more people - evaluate yourself on how well you utilize these elements of your personality when interacting with others.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

The Problem is Not The Problem

Contributed by another Facebook friend...the ever wise Andrew Easton

As one of my original posts stated, an attitude is always in regards to something, and it is often towards a problem - which is usually an opportunity in disguise.  But, a bad attitude often gets in the way of reason and logic.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

Rocky Balboa Knows Best

.....just posted by a friend on Facebook and I thought very beftting......I could not agree more 

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens

I Believe!

Even if you stop believing in the person, why stop believing in the ideal they stood for?

You may just realize that you enjoy life a lot more.

Enthusiastically scribbled by, 

Jason Riemens